I’m unpacking boxes (I just moved) and finding all these cookbooks I’ve either bought because I’m stupid or taken home from work, where cookbooks come free because it’s a newspaper and publishing companies still send galleys. Cool for us; probably a waste of money for them. (PLEASE DON’T STOP.)

Anyway, here I am flipping through Food52’s “Genius Recipes,” which came out about a year ago and features “100 recipes that will change the way you cook.” I started marking ones I want to try — no-knead bread, cubed-avocado guac, hummus — and making fun of myself because I know no matter how many pages I dog-ear I’m never going to get my shit together to make a cauliflower steak.

And then I had the bad idea we all have occasionally: What if I started a B L O G. Then I’ll be like “Julie and Julia” and Julia Child will refuse to meet me. Obviously she will because she’s dead, but maybe other famous chefs will refuse to meet me: Anthony Bourdain, Mario Batali, Thomas Keller.

I’m a bad cook, a picky eater, a shitty photographer and I’m lazy. So I think this blog is going to be really, really, really good. Maybe someone will call it “relatable,” and mean it.

So here is the list of recipes that look good to me in Food52’s “Genius Recipes.” Let’s start with those and see if I ever post again.

Bar Nuts, pg. 33. You had me at “spicy butter.”

Basic Hummus, pg. 36. Look, I’m not a mongrel. I’ve had hummus before. But when I tried to make it once with my mom, who isn’t speaking to me right now, it tasted like peanut butter. I know, too much tahini. So I want to try again. Kind of.

No-knead bread, pg. 39. I’ve had a vague desire to make bread, even though there’s no “knead” to thanks to various bakeries and food-delivery services that I can pay to feed me fresh-baked loafs. I think it’s a woman thing. Maybe I’ll feel more like a woman, and less like my breasts are starting to really sag now, if I bake some bread. And starting with a no-knead kind seems like a good, manageable start.

Classic guacamole, pg. 45. I’ve made guacamole lots of times. It’s one thing that’s tough to fuck up. But this appealed to me because it doesn’t have any wet, tough-to-chop tomatoes in it, plus there’s this thing about making the onion and cilantro and pepper into a “slurry” and it just all-around looks real good and makes me crave chips.

Salt-crusted potatoes with cilantro mojo, pg. 49. My doctor says because of my PCOS I should really avoid carbs if I want to avoid getting any fatter, but this recipe seems worth it. Or at least the title of it does. I haven’t read beyond that. Yet? Lol

Romaine hearts with Caesar salad dressing, pg. 63. My mom, who like I said hasn’t been speaking to me since that thing at Christmas, makes a homemade Caesar dressing that’s really good, even though it’s got a shitload of mayonnaise in it and I hate mayonnaise. This calls for mayo, too, and Pecorino Romano. That’s two things I despise but somehow I love Caesar dressing and so I guess I want to give this a shot.

“Use a Spoon” chopped salad, pg. 67. I like chopped salads better than other salads because they’re easy to chew. I know what you’re thinking, “How hard is it to chew a leaf” but I have news for you: My teeth aren’t too good and big leafs of lettuce get COLD on my molars. And big hunks of carrot get stuck in my gums. Oh, is this grossing you out? Imagine how I feel. But this says you can eat it with a spoon, which sounds good to me and my teeth.

OK, I’m bored looking through this book now. Let’s stop here. I’m gonna go make what I always make for dinner: chicken fajitas. I’m going to attempt to document this as a second blog post. I’ll be back in an hour, or never.